Regular users and/or addicts of pornography generally have a handfull of triggers that set them off on another binge of pornography use. Many of you can identify with an event, a state of mind, or the influences that drive us to using porn. Here are a few items that may trigger your urges:
- A fight with the wife
- Boredom
- Depression
- The glimpse of an attractive woman
- Lonliness
- Anger
- Free time
Let me share a really BIG one for all of us – suggestive ads –
What is this ad promoting?
This ad from netflix that features actress Megan Fox really caught my eye. Here’s why:
- She is attractive and the middle of the ad focuses on her breasts. – us men are obviously visually oriented.
- She has a look of vulnerability or fear on her face – this triggers the manly need to rescue her.
- She is posed in a way that asks you to help her, rescue her, love her.
I have seen this ad off to the side of my Yahoo mail at least 50 times and it has caught my eye everytime. In the past, I would have focused on this ad and it would have revved me up to the point of search for pornography then acting out. How do I respond differently now?
Initially I was caught off gaurd with this ad and quickly looked away. (fleeing) As I saw it more often I started to analyze what it was about that ad that was so appealing and those details are above. I did not take the ad into my head and run with it! This is where we get tripped up. You have to train yourself to stop the runaway thoughts that lead into acting out. You need to stop yourself, calm yourself down and move on to another subject. Don’t even entertain thoughts of sex for a few moments thinking you are just skirting the edge. You need to estinguish these lustful thoughts right away! Walk away for 10 minutes, change the channel, call a friend or your accountability partner – Don’t linger.
Many of the triggers that lead us down the road into acting out and using pornography can be counteracted by doing something to oppose that trigger. If boredom leads you into pornography sessions, you need to keep yourself busy – do something to occupy the time. If free time is your downfall, don’t allow yourself to have free time while you are alone. Leave the house and go into a public setting. Invite a friend over. Do you see where I am going? We have to set up a plan (in advance) of what will are going to do when we face a situation that could lead to our downfall. That action plan is a part of your overall Battle Plan to stop using pornography. You will then know what to do and excute the action plan to counteract these attacks before they start.
What are your triggers? What do you find helpfull to counteract everyday situations that could bring your down? Please comment.
Hi. I have had this addiction for 2 years now and I want to stop it before it gets even worse. This is what happens, I get up from bed and a sexual thought pops in my head I try to stop it but it gets worse. I try this all the time but I just don’t know how to occupy my time wisely enough to stop. I need more control over this. I have already identified my triggers but I have a hardtime avoiding them. I believe it is possible. I just need strength. Can this really work?
Mr.annoymous,
You can only avoid your triggers to a point…then there comes the reaction to the triggers. When a sexual thought pops into your head what do you do with it? You say you try to stop it. What does that mean? Whenever I get a thought like that in my head, I have to actively intoduce truth to the situation. For example, I daydream about hooking up with a woman at a meeting I am attending. At that point I interupt that train of thought and introduce these truthes: I am married, an affair would destroy my family. She does not think the same of me and the chances of this happening are slim to none. God is watching my every move and hears my thoughts, so is this what I want Him to see.
Strenght in this area comes from prayer and practice. I pray for your victory over the battle of your thoughts! This is a very tough arena to battle in.. I still have a few issues from time to time here.
Roger
I am 60 years and keep myself in excellent condition. If you would see me from the back, you would thing I was a teenager. I’ve been married to a really good man for 38 years. I love him but in bed he’s a zero and he was shortchanged in the man department. He also has low energy and doesn’t seem interested in sex which may result from his equipment insecurity. I feel bad for him. I think most guys wish they were bigger but they’re really fine. Anyway, I have taken up with internet porn, especially gay men sites. I know it sounds so twisted and I know it’s most always a guy thing to masturbate while looking at this stuff as every guy I know is most definitely visually oriented. I can feel their eyes all over me. I’m addicted to porn. I wonder if there is any guy around who could compete with my toys. I so much want to be pounded by one of those hunks but i love my husband and I just could not cheat on him with another man. So I have a steady diet of sex that is gratifying but not very fulfilling. I feel guilty. I might be a sex addict; none of my girlfriends seem to have the urgent needs that I do. I don’t know what to do; I feel trapped. I’ve always masturbated but now I need the additional stimuli that I get from pornography. Is there any help out there.
Vicky. Like you said porn is satisfying but not fulfilling. What porn misses is the intimacy involved with another human. When did you start feeling unsatisfied with your husband? Before or after you started looking at pornography?