My first introduction to Pornography

Posted on August 19, 2011 by R Pike

I was always a curious kid who wanted to learn and explore.  One day while my friend and I were poking around in my garage, we found a calendar with a topless woman on it.  We quickly sneaked it out of the garage to someplace we could admire it without being caught.  I still remember the excitement that calendar lit up inside me.  From then on, I was on the prowl for anything similar that I could get my hands on.

Those things that I later found came in the form of a Jacques Cousteau book (sad to admit) and then a treasure trove of Playboy magazines in my basement.  At those times, I’m not sure what was more exciting, the pictures or the thrill of doing something wrong and trying not to get caught!

All the guilt eventually caught up with me and I asked my mom about the magazines and if Dad was still and ‘alright’ guy for having them.  Man, was I ever a hypocrite.  After a while, my Dad threw away his stash and guess who scooped up a bunch for his own collection…me of course!

I also remember buying single naked pictures from my friend for a buck a piece.  He would rip them out of his dad’s large collection and sell them to me and my friend.  I remember buying as many as he would sell.  He was very cautious and hesitant and eventually stopped selling them due to getting caught.

My own stash was stored in a few different places over the years.  I never put them under the mattress, that was such an amateur move!  At first, I would hide them under the carpet inside my closet.  It was perfect cause I would move stuff over top and no one would know.  I even cleared out half the closet so I could sit in there with my flashlight and look at my pictures. At other times I would hide my magazines in a bunch of auto show literature.

Those were the early days of my pornography addiction.  That first taste lit a desire within me that really took over me for about 20 years.  Why do I relay this story?  Well, a lot of it has to do with remembering this stuff today while I mowed the lawn.  The other reason is that I want to show you where I have been and to let you know that you are not much different than me.  Another thing – Do all you can to keep your kids away from pornography!  They eventually will come in contact with it, but make it much later in life after they learn about what real love is and how to treat a woman.

Please share your story with us… How did you get exposed to pornography?  What did that do to you?

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A Dirty House – Keep Your Home Clean from Worldliness

Posted on May 11, 2011 by R Pike

We have had record amounts of rainfall for this time of year recently.  When you combine this with warm weather and children, you get a dirty house.  The floors were muddy, the carpets had dirt and grass in them and the patio door was barely clear.  Tracking dirt into the house is normal all year round, but more apparent at this time of year.

We all leave the house and trudge through the outside world and bring dirt into the house.  The dirt clings to us and we have to take cautions if we don’t want it inside.  We can easily accomplish this if we wipe our shoes off and don’t wear them into the house.  What about the other dirt we can bring into the house?

The other dirt from the outside world is not of the organic type.  I am talking about the dirt of immortality, impurity, lust, and greed.  These things come into the house through various other sources.  We can unknowingly allow this dirt to enter our house through the radio, television, magazines and internet.  Our kids can bring it home from school or it can enter our homes from visitors.

While we can diligently fight the battle against organic dirt by using a vacuum or broom, but how can we fight against worldly dirt?  There are two ways to battle this, offensively and defensively.

To fight against worldliness offensively means to pour good values into your family.  Set standards for your family and teach your children right from wrong.  Teach children and actively practice yourself values such as modesty, generosity, thankfulness, being content, purity, and honesty.  Many of these values are found in the Bible and through a good Christian upbringing.  If you all are actively learning and practicing these values then it is easier not to get led astray by worldliness.

A good defense against worldliness is to protect your mind and heart from bad influences.  These influences are mentioned above and come mostly in the form of media.  The types of media we consume have a great effect on changing our morality and values.  The constant propaganda of the media can over time get us to buy into the world view.  Churches that once considered homosexuality an abomination are now ordaining homosexual ministers.  They were swayed by the changing morality of the world.

Defensive measures are monitoring the media you and your family read, watch and listen to.  You have to actively measure what you are consuming against your values to see if they fit.  If they don’t pass the test then get rid of them.  Rome didn’t crumble in a day; it took years to topple the empire.  Small compromises will also topple your family’s values and the end result is destruction.

Most everyone enjoys a clean house free from dirt and odor, but the dirt of worldliness is less noticeable and requires both offensive and defensive measures to keep your family safe.  Just like neglecting a little dirt here and there can lead to a filthy house, small compromises let the worldliness get a foothold that will eventually take over your household.  Stay clean.  Stay vigilant

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Four reasons your husband looks at pornography

Posted on April 30, 2011 by R Pike

He is seeking escape – Life is tough and there are many responsibilities between work and family.  Sometimes a man wants to get away from this world and enter fantasy land.  This escape takes his mind of things that cause pain or anxiety and provides him with pleasure.  As a wife, you understand the need to get away from the children or work.  This is much the same as he is seeking with pornography.  Many women believe he is trying to get away from her, which might be true if she is a contentious woman, but usually he is stressed about the cares of this world and wants a brief escape.  Try to provide an environment where he can talk to you freely and without hesitation about things that are on his mind.  Listen to him and make sure he knows you are on his team and working together with him.

He is wired to be visually oriented – Men are visual creatures.  We find what we like by site and feelings come later.  Women use their feelings to determine what they like then they translate that into physical attraction.  This being said, a man is usually always scanning females searching for something pleasant to the eye.  He gets great satisfaction just from observation because he is stimulated by sight.  Using pornography develops his visual appetite and makes it more satisfying and therefore he will keep going back for more.  Don’t neglect yourself physically and stop wearing nice clothes for him.  He will notice you more if you take time to get his attention.

He is hooked on the high he gets – Pornography has been documented to mimic the same effects on the brain as drugs do.  It releases all kinds of feel good chemicals that provide lots of pleasure for a while.  It is so easy to get hooked on pornography for this very reason.  Men like the view and the feeling it gives them.  You may be a good looking sexy woman, but your husband will go to pornography for the variety and to get his fix.  I’ve seen men with very attractive wives go back time and again to pornography.  This is very hard to comprehend for a feeling oriented woman.  Many women will blame themselves because they don’t look sexy as they used to, but the truth is, he is an addict and is acting out of addiction and not directly as a result of your physical beauty.

He is searching for an intimate connection – Even though men are visually oriented, deep down inside we are lonely and seeking an intimate connection.  If you and your husband have a rocky marriage, make love infrequently or don’t take time to go out on dates and connect with each other, he may be starving.  It’s hard to understand how a man can get intimacy from a video screen, but in his mind these girls are there for him and to please him.  They draw him into a false intimacy that he eats up if he doesn’t have an intimate connection with his wife.  It’s not just the sex he is looking for, it’s the feeling of being wanted, appreciated and being able to please someone else.  If you can provide those things for your husband he will rather spend time with you over them.

Wives, I write this from a man’s point of view to help you understand where we are coming from.  A man does not always look at pornography as a direct result of something you have done or not done.  Sometimes he does it because it is what he has done for a long time, but other times he does it because something is lacking or he is just plain stressed out with life. 

My best advice to you is to be sensitive to your husband’s needs.  Try to be understanding and let him get close to your physically and emotionally.  Also, make certain he knows you love him and don’t like the fact he is using pornography.  Try not to be confrontational but don’t let him off the hook if you know he is looking at pornography. 

Together you two can work through these issues and come out on the other side a stronger and closer couple.

Posted in Addicted to pornography, For wives of Porn addicts, Signs of pornography addiction | Tagged , , , | 8 Comments

The Triple X Domain – What will it do for Families and addicts

Posted on April 17, 2011 by R Pike

Talks have long been going on over the establishment of a top level domain xxx.  Pornography sites would be encouraged to use these TLDs to publish their content.  It would make it easier for families to filter out pornographic websites, or so they think.

The new top level domain .xxx was just recently approved and will be offered for sale soon.  Anyone wishing to purchase their website.xxx to mirror their website.com will be able to order. 

Will this new red light district on the internet help to regulate pornographic material?  Does this ‘legitimize’ pornography by giving it its own section of the internet?  Will it help families keep pornographic materials away from their children? 

I want to bring up the issue of legitimization of the pornographic industry.  They have been allowed to take over the normal .com world by putting up over 12% of content on the internet.  They were here at the advent of the internet to the point where some people think the porn industry created the internet.  Truth is that the internet is like the wild west and almost anything goes on it.  Does it legitimize them?  Maybe, but I think that giving them a .xxx is only the first step to regulating the industry on the internet.

Pornography industry leaders are not willing to be decent citizens and move their filthy material from their .coms over to the .xxxs, nor will they be required to do so.  These websites are fully entrenched with years of history, programming and search engine indexing behind them.  They have much invested and much to lose by ditching their dot coms.

The truth is that they like the easy access that dot coms have given them.  Type a wrongly spelled word into the search or just about any topic and your results will yield pornography.  Pornographers love the fact that they are easily found and can entrap anyone who takes the bait and enters into their dark world.  This would all change if they were forced to take their smut to the triple x domains. 

Search engines would be able to more easily restrict triple x domains from search results and internet searchers would know that any results that carry a .xxx are off limits.  This would be good news for families and anyone wanting to maintain their purity online. 

In my opinion the establishment of a triple x domain is a good first step, but it will be useless until pornographers are forced to migrate over to the new TLD.  Currently as it stands, the triple x domains will just be extra web addresses that forward people to their established dot com sites.  The internet will be just as perverse as it is today until the pornographic dot coms are shut down and moved.

Is anyone with me and ready to start a campaign forcing pornographers over to the triple x domains?  Leave your comments below.  Let’s organize and get started.  Who is with me??

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