Supernatural lifeguards, whistles and who is watching

Who is watching You?

  My family and I just came back from one of those indoor water park resorts.  We had a great time together and did plenty of swimming.

  These types of places are filled with people, pools and lifeguards. 
There are lifeguards everywhere you turn whether you go on a water slide or wade in the wave pool.  They do an excellent job of whistling people away from unacceptable behavior and unknown dangers.  Their job is to make sure you are safe and don’t do anything stupid to hurt yourself.

One thing I noticed with my kids is that they would look to the lifeguard every time the whistle blew.  A few times it was for them, like when they were doing handstands on the bottom of the pool.  Most of the time it was for someone else that was getting to close to the edge or to close to the buoys where the wave machine works.

The lifeguards were watching everyone swim and would not let you get away with breaking a pool rule.  My kids would do something and then look up to the lifeguard to see whether it was ok to do it.  Once they found out that handstands were not allowed they didn’t try to do them again.  They love handstands, but the lifeguards were always watching and they did not want to get busted.

When we are tempted to look at pornography, where is the lifeguard ready to blow the whistle on us?  Believe it or not, there are lifeguards to keep us from sinning.  One of them is called our conscience.  Right before you click on that button to look at pornography, your conscience tells you to stop. 

Another very similar lifeguard is the Holy Spirit which will do the same thing and urge you to run.  Hopefully you can still hear your conscience or the Holy Spirit as they blow the whistle and tell you to stop.  If you cannot hear them anymore, you have crushed these warnings long enough that you can’t hear them!  You are ignoring them and need to slow yourself down to recognize them again.  Remember that the eyes of The Lord are everywhere and while you think no one else can see you, He can!

Other lifeguards are the ones that we set up for ourselves.  Internet filtering programs such as Covenant Eyes or X3 watch will serve as a lifeguard when you get tempted.  There is also a program that will text your accountability partner when you start hitting websites that suggest you are ready to fail. 

Some other practical lifeguards are locking out certain cable channels, keeping your computer in a public place, not allowing or getting yourself out of perfect storm situations, and calling your accountability partner to share your temptations with them.

Don’t allow yourself to even come close to drowning in pornography.  You must heed the natural and supernatural lifeguards in your life.  Don’t forget to set up some other practical lifeguards in your life as well.  When you do these, it will be much harder to harm yourself and fall prey to the satan and his schemes.

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The Perfect Storm to be Bad

The Perfect Storm

 

I write this tonight from a point of vulnerability.  This is a lesson we all can learn from. 

The title for this post is the perfect storm to be bad.  The perfect storm is that storm where all the conditions are just right to produce a real powerfull, destructive, wickedly dangerous storm.  When the perfect conditions come together like this, you better take shelter.  On the sea, you may not have a choice but to ride it out, but on dry land you have many options.  You can take shelter inland if a hurricane is coming.  You may run to the storm shelter if a tornado is on its way. 

The perfect storm I am talking about tonight is not of the natural disaster kind.  I am talking about the perfect storm to be bad.  When I say be bad, I am refering to the temptation of pornography.  Indulging in pornography is definately acting badly.

The perfect storm is the right combination of circumstances and opportunities that present themselves to the addict who has to make a decision.  That decision is whether to succomb to temptation or to run away and change the circumstances. 

Tonight I have the perfect storm here:

  • A semi private computer
  • My wife away for the night
  • My kids in bed
  • A little beer in my system

I so want to take a peak at some images or videos on yahoo search.  You know, just fringy things, no big deal right?  Wrong.  I need to change my circumstances and quickly.  I decided to write this post to express what I am going through and to show you how I am going to run from this. 

In a moment when I finish this post I am going to shut down and go to sleep.  I don’t need to be on the computer at 10:36 on a Friday night.  I will flip on the TV and veg out till I fall asleep.  I also will not have any more beer.  The beer is good, and I don’t drink a lot of it, but it dulls my inhabitions and conscience causing me to think things that I know I shouldn’t. 

So before I sign off and claim a victory over temptation, please tell me what are the conditions for your perfect storm?  What do you do about it?  Do you forsee the storm and immediately get out of the way?  Please share below.

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Secure the Internet Access in Your Home; Protect your Kids from adult content

The internet access in your home is probably as typical as mine.  We have cable internet, and a wireless router.  There is one PC, a Nintendo Wii, two Apple iPods, and a laptop all sharing our internet here at home.

This article is not about protecting your internet from hackers, malware and other security breaches.  I want to show you how to protect your family from the internet predators of pornography and other adult content.

Please click on the above picture for a full-size view.

Access to the internet in this diagram comes 2 different ways:  Through hardwire from the router and via wireless from the router.

The computer is sitting next to the modem and router.  The modem brings in the internet signal from your cable provider and translates it into computer readable signals.  The modem then plugs into your router.  The router distributes the internet to the computer via a network plug.  This is a larger telephone looking plug from router to computer.  To protect the computer from adult content you have two options.

Use a DNS filtering service such as Open DNS.  A DNS filtering service will protect all devices on your internet connection whether wireless or hardwired.  Sounds good right?  There is a drawback to this, you will have to administer the whole network’s access as one user, meaning you cannot customize content based on age or users.  I did this in my house until I kept getting calls from my wife and daughter to unblock this site and that site. My wife’s allowable content is definitely different from what we allow my daughter to view.

The only other solution is to have filtering software and controls for each device and separate accounts for each user.  After much searching we went with Covenant Eyes Christian Internet Filter.  This filter installs on the PC, laptop and the iPods.  With a few different accounts – one for my wife and I and one for the kids, we can custom tailor internet content access! (use this covenant eyes coupon code to try it free for one month)

On the laptop and PC, the filter stands between all internet access and the browser.  You cannot access the internet aside from the filter.  That solved our problem with the PC and laptop, but we still have the iPods and Wii to protect.

On the iPod, you can install the covenant eyes web browser as you would any other application.  As long as you have a valid covenant eyes account to log in to.  However I still saw the Safari internet browser active!  All you do here is go to; Settings, General, Restrictions and slide the button for Safari to the off position.  Set your 4 digit password code and Safari will be disabled and the user can only use the covenant eyes browser.

Lastly, the Nintendo Wii has internet access capabilities (as well as other game consoles such as Xbox, PS3 and others).  You will need to either disable the wireless internet connectivity or password protect it with a 4 digit code.  This is the only way I was able to protect access on the Wii.

You could if you have the patience to figure out the right mix of DNS filtering along with device based software, you could have a very secure internet against adult content.

If you have any comments or suggestions of how to improve your internet connection filtering, please leave a comment below.

Posted in Internet Filtering software, Resources | Tagged , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Cheating and the Bonds of Marriage – Is it really Cheating

Last time we explored the different types of affairs and analyzed whether or not they were cheating.  I made the point that since the actions of the one made the other feel hurt and betrayed they were considered cheating.  Does the classification of actual cheating depend solely on the way the offended spouse’s feelings and reactions?

Whenever we think of cheating we generally consider the act to be mainly physical.  When someone says that he cheated on her, they usually mean he had sex with another woman.  That phrase is generally interpreted in the same way.

I think we could all agree that having sex with someone other than your spouse is indeed cheating.  Sex is the most intimate way that we humans can connect with each other.  There is an actual bonding at levels beyond just the physical.  There is an emotional and spiritual connection made.  When you have sex with someone you are giving yourself to them in the most vulnerable way humanly possible.  The exchange between the couple is physical, emotional and spiritual.

Let’s bring pornography up as it relates to having sex with someone.  Pornography does not connect you physically with someone, but it does connect you emotionally and spiritually.

Every image gets seared into your mind.  The physical pleasure along with gratifying images makes them so hard to forget.  You loose your ability to emotionally connect with real people.  There are no emotions shared with pornography.  It is one sided where the person engaged in watching it will ‘treat’ the person in the video any way they please.  This treatment is many times abusive and objective.  This one way emotional exchange disconnects the user from interactions with real people.

The spiritual side of using pornography is one of the scariest.  I don’t know whether you give away some of your spirit or take on some dark spirit while using pornography.  I tend to lean towards taking on some evil spirits because it will start to change you.  Pornography is a dark world.  You enter in through enticing seemingly harmless images, but get dragged down into a dark place that will change you.  Anyhow, I hope you can see the reason I view pornography as cheating without even delving into the feelings of the spouse.

If you don’t have sexual relations outside of your marriage, but have real close intimate friendships with the opposite sex you are cheating.  I know that you might disagree with that statement, but hear me out.

Marriage bonds a couple together not only physically in sex, but spiritually and emotionally as well.  Yes the act of sex bonds in the same ways, but there is power in the bond of marriage.

God said that the two will become one when He speaks about marriage.  He was not just speaking about sex.  Believe it or not, God views a husband and wife as one, a unit.  You know the phrase – “My better half”.  There is a magical joining of the two in the physical, emotional and spiritual realms.

If a spouse seeks to emotionally join themselves to another person through relational intimacy, they are breaking one of the bonds of a marriage.  Our spouses were meant to be our closest companion on earth with whom we can share anything.  An emotional affair breaks that bond in the marriage and bonds with another.

I know what you may say – That’s just emotional, there is no spiritual and physical connection.  How many emotional affairs wind up turning into physical affairs?  I don’t know the statistics, but I would bet it is high.  If emotional affairs are not stopped, the natural progression is into sexual relations.

Now I realized that I did not yet touch on the feelings of hurt and betrayal experienced by the spouse of someone into pornography or having an emotional affair.  If you felt betrayed and hurt, does it matter what excuses or rational is used to explain to you that they did not actually cheat on you?  Does the technical definition of cheating sway your feelings?

In my case, you could have told me that my wife was not actually cheating.  I mean, she wasn’t sleeping with this other guy.  She was however having private conversations with someone I didn’t know.  It made me feel threatened, betrayed and hurt.  It did not matter one bit if she came out and said ‘But we are not sleeping together’.

The trust was broken.  Our bond of marriage was weakened.  She had attempted to give herself emotionally to another person instead of me.

What it boils down to is your relationship with your spouse.  If you love them, you would not want to hurt them, even unintentionally.  If anything you did was offensive to your spouse, love would make you want to stop those actions even if you felt you did nothing wrong.  My wife does love me because she stopped communications with this other man and was seriously sorry about it.

Maybe the real test of whether it is an affair or not is the impact it has on the bond of marriage.  If it does not weaken any of the bonds of marriage, then it is not cheating.  If the actions damage or seek to weaken any of the marriage bonds, then it is an affair.

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