Reader Question regarding her husband’s Porn Stash on his device.

Mary asks if his stash of images and videos is on his personal Sansa media device.

I have found tons of evidence of porn watching and voyeurism from myhusband. This has been going on for years, I have decided to leave himbut before I do I want to show him everything I found. I asked to seehis Sansa Fuzzy because I found out he had one. He says there is onlymusic and no porn or pictures. The memory card is missing and I wouldbet my life he down loaded on it and hid the card. AM I RIGHT? Itonly had music on there but I know he still is watching it. ~Mary

 

Mary, I think that his secrecy and protection of his Sansa device may indicate he is using it to watch porn. I understand privacy and all, but anyone who hides or is overprotective of their iPod, cell phone or other device from their spouse is probably hiding something.

I’m guessing that the memory card is what the movies are stored on and the Sansa won’t work without it. He is clever in hiding the memory card, but whatcomputer is he using to download the movies from onto the card? If you need concrete proof, find that computer.

You say you have decided to leave him and want to show him everything you havefound. It sounds like his Sansa is one piece of evidence you have against him. Does he think that you don’t know about his porn watching? Has he been denying it all these years and now you have the evidence to confront him with?

I can see your point in the evidence gathering. You don’t want to be wrong inyour confrontation with him. When I suspected my wife was cheating on me I gathered some evidence from the computer and showed her. She had denied any wrong doing and the evidence I had was a bit sketchy. It was enough to confirm she was at least chatting with another man.

The evidence didn’t hold up and she was very angry at my spying on her to get that information. I believe she still holds that against me. Some good advice I received and will pass along to anyone reading this is that you shouldn’t spy or gather evidence until you decide what you are going to do oneway or the other. I knew she was chatting with another guy, but it burned me up inside because I couldn’t tell for sure one way or another if she was having an affair.

If he is using porn, what will you do with that information? Confront him andthen leave him? Help him enroll in a treatment program? If it’s not porn then why did you have your suspicions? Are you generally insecure or is he not trustworthy?

Mary, this doesn’t sound good for your relationship. I hope you have made theright decision. Good luck