His Porn Addiction & your Pain

He is addicted to porn & won’t talk to her about it!

Today’s post comes from a real person who reached out for help.  I will be publishing more or these in the future and you will remain anonymous as did ‘Susan’.

Susan, I am very sorry you are getting nowhere in trying to talk to him about this porn addiction he has. It is a very normal reaction to deny and deflect when you are confronted with sinful behavior or ways that you have wronged another person. It is also embarrassing to be confronted by your significant other with the fact that you watch porn and masturbate.

Those being said, you should be careful in how you approach him about it. If my wife comes at me in accusatory tones and is flat out angry, I am going into defensive mode and am totally shut down to hearing anything she has to say. On the other hand, if she keeps and even temperament and speaks to me with concern and caring in her voice, she will elicit a much open response from me.

I know that you have feelings of anger and betrayal stewing up inside you and can’t help yourself, but you won’t be able to help him until you talk to him on a level playing field and get him to open up about his porn use. Once he feels safe enough to talk about it, he might.

He might talk about it or may not. Some people won’t face the truth and will do everything to avoid it. As long as you are sure he is using porn, you have ground to stand on. If this is suspicion and you don’t have proof, then it’s his word against your accusations.

Either way, you can’t live with someone who is a porn addict but won’t confess to it, nor can you live with someone you suspect is using porn. In both instances you will harbor resentment against him and wind up destroying the relationship.

There is hope for him to kick this addiction!

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What additional or differing advice would you give Susan? Please comment below.