Is Pornography cheating or just an outlet for physical desires?

I woke up this morning and this question literally popped into my head.  Maybe it was due in part to the dream I had plus the situation that has come to light in my own life.  Anyway I seek to answer it for myself and for you the reader.

Is she cheating?

Why has this question come up?  Lately, I have come to learn that my wife has been flirting online with another man.  It has been by email and chatting on the computer for sure, maybe only online cheating.  I don’t know whether they have met in person as the emails question, but he does live awfully close. I honestly don’t know how far they have gone.

Why is my wife having an affair?

The discovery of this has hurt me deeply.  I feel betrayed, inadequate and angry.  Why is she seeking to go outside of our marriage?  What am I not doing for her that she seeks to get elsewhere?  Is it physical dissatisfaction?  Is it an emotional affair where she is trying to fill some deficit?  Perhaps it is for the excitement and the escape from life.

I don’t have any answers to these questions yet.  I have not confronted her with it.  Before I do, I need to get to the bottom of the question at hand:  Is using pornography cheating?  You see, I was using pornography since my teens and carried it into our marriage.  About six years ago I confessed my problem to my wife.

My past use of pornography.

Her reaction was to my revelation was relief, sympathetic and hurt.  The relief part came as I was trying to explain this and she began to think I was having an affair.  She was relieved to find out that was not true.  She was sympathetic regarding my background and how I started into pornography.  Lastly, she was hurt thinking about how I used these images of women instead of her, even she knew she wasn’t they cause of my problem.

Can you draw a correlation between cheating and pornography?

Now when I confront my wife about her friend, I know that she will relate it to my pornography use and how that hurt her.  If she is physically involved with this man, is it really comparable to using pornography?  Could you honestly use this as a defensive move if you were confronted about cheating?  What if she is only emotionally cheating, what then?

I want to really try and answer these questions for myself.  I want your help to sort this out.  Please leave your comments below.  Where do you stand on this?  What are your thoughts?